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12.04.2003
The Medium
The brazen inferno sprinkles tidbits of mass confusion.
Is this eccentric hemlock what awaits me after a desolate life?
I pray thee not, that I will instead spend eternity in the clouds.
What is to keep me from the mysterious sounds of the devil's symphony?
So far, this trial has been quilted with differentiating options.
The end brings bone like bubbles, easily broken, as is my heart.
A loved one passed into a hazy world where skulls collect.
How am I to distinguish their morbid location, if I have not seen it myself?
Death brings whimsical reflections and corrupted knowledge alike.
The job of weeping is schizophrenic, processed, and wanton.
Why are we left to cascade tears while they move to serenity?
Advantageous aspects remain for the living connections of evil too.
When death comes, will I be banished to a patch of delusional darkness?
Alone, my distressed soul awaiting a vainful reprieve?
Nigh, but rather with a zealous soul containing indescribable passion,
I will embellish my heavenly condominium with enchanting memories.
Care Bear @ 9:41 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
bitter sweet.
Care Bear @ 12:06 AM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
12.03.2003
Shandra and I always have the best time together no matter what we are doing. Tonight we just chilled, but were so hyper. The truth is...she completes me. I know that sounds corny, but when i hang with her it is never a bad time. I can honestly say she is my best friend. Not that i don't have tons of really great friends, but i can be my true self around her and not have to worry about petty things.
Saturday is going to be the best ever. Our first last tournament of my high school bowling career and we as a team are going to kick ass. Then, afterwards, a bunch of us are going out and then Shandra and I are going to crash. We have it all planned out.
A lack of sleep has been making me creative. I just think of brilliantly stupid sayings or phrases that are so poetic. I was tired of the words escaping me so I grabbed a pencil today and wrote them down. Before i knew it, I had a phrase that makes so much sense now: Relatively playful with desires hidden among passionate shadows of lustful, whimsical, and endearing thoughts.
The poem below sucks but it was a spur of the moment type thing.
Care Bear @ 11:36 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
A few words were spoken;
not much was said.
a touch here and there
as I laid on his bed.
With a glance and a smile
he knew I was his
A playful game
is what it really is.
Moving forward
while still looking back
despite his words
he knows how to mack.
A few more days
and we'll see
How easy
this game can be.
Care Bear @ 11:13 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
12.02.2003
*^_^*
Care Bear @ 9:05 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
I am beside myself with confusion. i don't know what to do, or how to do it. should i just go for it and let my emotions run rampade. AHHHH!! i just want to scream at the top of my lungs. i am so worn out by all of my thinking that i don't even have the effort required to capitalize. what a slacker.
so, our first tournament is this weekend and i am pumped. these events are always so much fun and they bring the team together in unimaginable ways. at least i have something to look forward too...plus...there is always saturday night. ; )
Care Bear @ 9:04 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
11.30.2003
Someone I trust has betrayed me. I don't know who, but the events of the last day and a half have made me question almost all of my friends. Sure, there are those few that I would trust my life with, but I can't understand why someone would do the things they have been doing. Am I a bad friend? Do I not try my hardest to me friendly, trustworthy, and fair? For all I know, the person I tell everything to could be the person telling everything. I want to trust all of my friends (and I used to) with my life. I just have one question...why?
Care Bear @ 3:34 PM | comment
cmharrison@mckendree.edu
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