12.16.2004

Here I am, sitting at Aimee's school on the computer. I've been here since last night and since then, I have come to a couple of conclusions...one of them being...this school is flippin' weird. No guys in the girls dorm unless suprivised...no rated 'R' movies...you can't walk around without shoes on, even if you wanted to. The list goes on and on. I'll admit, most of the people here are really nice, and the dorms rock. I was thinking that it would be cool to go here, but then, I think of all the rules. I don't do well with private institutions so I think next time it is going to be a university for me.

Michelle turns 16 on Saturday...it seems like just the other day she was starting high school, naive to the world. Now, she is a bonafide party animal that can't be stopped...Is that a good or bad thing? I don't know, but I taught her all she knows. I mean...I didn't mean to turn her for the worst, but there are just a couple things in life that everyone should experience...weed being on the top of my list.

So far, everyone (except my parents) are happy I am coming home. I am looking forward to it, but I have so much stuff to do. For instance, I have to go to Kroger's and if Dave turns me down, I have to go to the hospital...and then, I have to fill out paper work for school and see if I can't work some classes out. I have to unpack...Shandra is going to want to do something and Lauren wants to do something. Michelle blew me off so screw her (jk). I am really excited to hang out with all of them, but if I go out my parents are going to be like...see! we knew this is the only reason you wanted to come home...if they only knew.

I've decided that after I get a job, I am going to keep $40 or $50 a week for neccessities and the rest is going to my dad to save. That way, I can save up enough for a car and maybe enough to live off of at school. I figure about $80 or more a week and pretty soon I will be able to afford what I want: a car, a cell phone, spending money. I'm definitely not going to blow it all like I did the last time. I worked all that time and have nothing to show for it except a lot of good memories...Actually, I can't even remember much...too many drugs.

I know this next month is going to be hard, but I think I can make it. At least I hope I can.

12.13.2004

It's time for me to make a decision and I just don't know what to do... I can either fight and stay here at school or I can just go home and deal with my future then. My parents are really upset that I decided to go home. I can't stand to disappoint them. I have some friends up here that have decided to help me out, but do I really want to be helped? On one perspective I do want to stay at McKendree because once I leave there is no coming back...just like my parents said...I won't be able to afford it. On the other hand, I was really looking forward to going home...seeing Shandra, working, going to school. But what am I going to do after that...my parents don't even seem to think that I will finish school. I'm going to...I have to if I ever want to amount to anything. Yet, I'm scared...I love taylorville and I'm just not ready to leave...I just don't know what to do.

ME in a BOWL

In this tiny space, I am suppose to tell you about myself; I can't, for you wouldn't even begin to understand the simple complexity of my life.

RaBId pASt

06/09/2002 - 06/16/2002
06/16/2002 - 06/23/2002
07/14/2002 - 07/21/2002
07/21/2002 - 07/28/2002
07/28/2002 - 08/04/2002
08/04/2002 - 08/11/2002
08/11/2002 - 08/18/2002
08/18/2002 - 08/25/2002
08/25/2002 - 09/01/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/08/2002
09/08/2002 - 09/15/2002
09/15/2002 - 09/22/2002
09/22/2002 - 09/29/2002
09/29/2002 - 10/06/2002
10/06/2002 - 10/13/2002
10/13/2002 - 10/20/2002
10/20/2002 - 10/27/2002
10/27/2002 - 11/03/2002
11/03/2002 - 11/10/2002
11/10/2002 - 11/17/2002
11/17/2002 - 11/24/2002
11/24/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/15/2002 - 12/22/2002
12/22/2002 - 12/29/2002
12/29/2002 - 01/05/2003
01/05/2003 - 01/12/2003
01/12/2003 - 01/19/2003
01/19/2003 - 01/26/2003
01/26/2003 - 02/02/2003
02/02/2003 - 02/09/2003
02/09/2003 - 02/16/2003
02/16/2003 - 02/23/2003
02/23/2003 - 03/02/2003
03/02/2003 - 03/09/2003
03/16/2003 - 03/23/2003
03/23/2003 - 03/30/2003
03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003
04/06/2003 - 04/13/2003
04/20/2003 - 04/27/2003
05/04/2003 - 05/11/2003
05/11/2003 - 05/18/2003
05/18/2003 - 05/25/2003
05/25/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 06/08/2003
06/08/2003 - 06/15/2003
06/29/2003 - 07/06/2003
07/20/2003 - 07/27/2003
08/03/2003 - 08/10/2003
08/10/2003 - 08/17/2003
08/17/2003 - 08/24/2003
08/24/2003 - 08/31/2003
08/31/2003 - 09/07/2003
09/07/2003 - 09/14/2003
09/21/2003 - 09/28/2003
09/28/2003 - 10/05/2003
10/05/2003 - 10/12/2003
10/26/2003 - 11/02/2003
11/02/2003 - 11/09/2003
11/09/2003 - 11/16/2003
11/30/2003 - 12/07/2003
01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004
01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004
02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004
02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004
02/22/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/14/2004 - 03/21/2004
03/21/2004 - 03/28/2004
04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004
04/18/2004 - 04/25/2004
05/16/2004 - 05/23/2004
05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004
06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004
07/04/2004 - 07/11/2004
07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004
10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004
10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004
10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004
11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005
05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
04/01/2007 - 04/08/2007

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